Heart and Growth inked on skin

The family of God

Do you feel out of place at times? People don’t get you, and you feel like you can’t connect?

Being with God does that to a person. Others might reject us but we can be a lot closer to each other. We are the family of God, the chosen ones.

We can’t do this walk on our own. There are hurdles and obstacles on our ways and demons preparing to taste flesh. My brother, let us roar together, my sister, let us sing the hymns of war.

I will hold you when you fall, and my shield is yours. On these pages, let us reason and celebrate together. We talk about our struggles, real issues in real people; our life which is lived inside. Shells and walls are only there to keep us silent.


When all is said and done

It is us, you and me, who will stand before the Lord one day. We will give account for our lives and the excuses we use today will be worthless.

The only thing that will matter are the scars we brought home from the battlefield. The stabs in the back and the hissing of the enemy. It will be the pain released in prayer and the tears we cried in the hidden closet of our homes.

Did we love him more than our dignity and reputation? Were we willing to look like fools for his name? Were we willing to be torn apart by the Atheists, the doubters, and religion? Is he worth the blood and fire?

So who is writing this?

About Michael

My name is Michael. Tears and shame are no strangers to me.

My parents were refugees. They escaped communism and crossed the Berlin wall into the freedom of the west. They didn’t speak the language, didn’t know a single soul and had no idea what to do.

I was born in Berlin, but I grew up in the pain of a foreign land. Racism, fear, and rejection were my faithful companions. I took it all until I didn’t anymore. Anger arose, and violence proofed that I don’t have to be a victim.


Fixing the fix

With my liberation came pride and folly. I couldn’t suffocate my fear; I could only mask is. The more fear I had, the more I had to deny it. I had to prove it to myself that I’m tough. I had to prove it to the voice in my head.

If violence and anger are the only ways to solve your problems, things derail quickly. No university degree can make up for the lack of your social skills and the crazy perception you have of this world. Everyone seemed to attack me, but the only one in a war with me was myself.

It seemed that was the only place I knew how to interact was in a life of destruction.


New life

But my God had different plans. He stole my heart and put me on a journey towards wholeness and completion. I met a beauty on the way, put a ring on her finger, and she gave me two children.

People want to hear that God came, and all my problems got wiped away. The glory came with the blessings, and I lived happily ever after. The reality is a different beast, my friend.

Life is messy and molding hurts. God is shaping a diamond out of my broken life. He will continue to refine me until I leave this world. It is painful, but pain means growth.


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Don’t take this lightly. My stuff is raw, pulsating and messy. You will not see a shiny smile and three verses how God will make you rich today. Head over to Joel Osteen if you’re into this.

I only want the misfits. The outcasts. The Warriors.

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A few years ago, a friend of mine was asked what the most important thing is in his life. He would wait for a couple to days to answer. It went something like this:

“People are the most important to me. Everything else will go away, but people’s soul will last forever. The impact you have on them will last for eternity.”

His words were burned in my heart and I knew they were true. Theology, gifts, and arguments will not mean anything in 100 years. Only the impact we have on others will last forever.

My friend, let’s connect.